of feeling like i've accomplished none of my goals
of feeling like crap because i go to work and do my job, and it seems like others just want to be done with theirs, and i'm left with the fallout
of feeling like dirt because i'm straight, white, a gamer, like pictures of naked women, etc...
of feeling like other people are judging me for what i like and putting words/thoughts/actions in my mouth because of their own garbage.
I've been in a major slump, getting worse, since Otakon. Not BECAUSE of Otakon mind you, but events that happened around that time.
The shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson happened during it, and when I became aware of it several days later, my initial respose was "dammit, not again". It's deplorable. That's not the American I was taught to believe in, nor the "justice". And I don't feel likei've done enough about it, beyond a few reblogs, but it has weighed heavily on my mind.
Robin Williams died afterwards, which had a quicker, more direct effect. It made me sad, and it started me thinking about depression.
Gamergate happned. I don't know exactly what started it, but by the time I got to it, it had devolved into name-calling, sexist douchebaggery
on both sides (sorry Anita, you're wrong). I believe it began as something to do with game journalism ethics, but it's hard to get a good read on the
situation as, well, see previous comment about douchebagerry. But it's caused me to think about some things a little bit.
Perhaps more on these later, but -and not to downplay their importance- this is about ME.AND SOO....
I want to learn how to use Unity or some other game thingy, or work with someone who does know, because i have ideas. Specifically, an action/platformer revolving around we-r-nomad
's AMAZON/FMP world (with permission, of course). But simple steps first!
I am starting a donation pool. Not sure where's a good range.
I am starting a Patreon. I don't know how I'm gonna organize it at the moment, I don't like the idea of having my stuff beyond a pay wall,
so if it's a large project like Kim Possible, Agent of SHIELD
, it'll go there first, but it will come here too.
I draw porn. None of you guys see (unless you follow me elsewhere) the explicit stuff, as i actually try to follow dA's rules on the matter, but it exists, and i will do more. I have had plans for a couple of things... so they'll be on Patreon. Speaking of my porn, I'm aware of at least one deviant who was reposting some of my explicit work, and found out about it after someone faved it and hen faved some SFW from me (i usually check favers' faves gallery); if you see that, could you maybe point it out to me?
On the matter of porn: why have I not been complaining about Hentai Foundry for a couple of months? Because I got fed up and took a hiatus.
Seriously, I have no idea what's going on with the mods, but they started being absolute, hypocritical dicks around this time last year.
I have been doing my best work ever and it's been rejected on increasingly nebulous grounds, finishing with simply removing the ability to
edit and resubmit. I'm having similar feelings about several groups I'm a "part" of...
as kevin Smith says: fuck the gatekeepers.
I need to upgrade or replace my PC, it definitely needs a RAM increase. My laptop requires a new battery, at least (it's even telling me that's why it shuts down randomly). And good advice would be appreciated!
I'm going to be starting livestreaming, prolly on twitch, some Cinema 4D work, some Minecraft, some other things. Assuming I can figure Xsplit out
(because OBS doesn't work on either computer).
on ze tweeters
Basically, korblborp all ovah da place!